Re-framing An Anticipated Birth Experience
I remember when I found out I was pregnant (after 3 home pregnancy kits and one actual blood test) my first thought was “how will this baby come out of my body!”
I admit I was scared. Of what? My ability to birth and the “pian” associated with it.
Being a nurse in L&D I thought I was prepared, knowing what I knew about labor. But it didn’t. This was because I hadn’t experienced birth physically and emotionally – yet.
Giving birth to a new human being is one of those life events you have to experience physically and emotionally. There’s no way to get around it. Just like you have to experience sex to understand it, feel it, and be emotionally and physically engaged in it, labor and birth is the same. There isn’t any book that will do this for you.
No one told me this. I’m guessing you maybe thinking the same.
I confidently told myself “no problem. I’ll know what to do when the time comes.”
I was prepared with information, but unprepared for the emotional aspects of childbirth
I see this same attitude often in my childbirth classes with couples who take a one day childbirth class and feel they got all the information they needed to birth their baby. Maybe they did.
But the REAL preparation for birth is the ability to role play what you learn about birth, practice the skills you learn (breathing, positions, etc.) and developing a mindset for birth which includes:
- exploring your beliefs about your potential and birthing abilities
- learning how what you think can increase physical tension and pain
- discovering the incredible ability you have to control your “pain”
- knowing your body and the labor process is a part of you – your body is not out to harm you, but impress you by birthing your baby
- visualizing a positive birth experience
- following your heart to birth your baby the way YOU want and trusting your decisions
- educating yourself about choices and options
- arming yourself with supportive caregivers that have YOUR best interest in mind, not theirs
Re-framing the potential of a birth experience is important. Today there is so much information about the mind/body connection, how to reduce pain through meditation, hypnosis, etc., that the old school of just learning and preparing for birth through breathing and comfort measures, now adds a new dimension – the power of your thoughts and personal beliefs about birth. Learning and practicing, over time, mind/body pain management methods work and are more effective than if rarely practiced. There is no effectiveness if not practiced at all.
Beliefs about everything and anything happening in your life sets the tone for what you actual experience and the outcomes.
Birth is the same. Many women fear birth based on stories they hear from friends and family. The belief that birth is painful, dangerous, long, and so on begins to brew and fester. My question to you would be, if that’s true, why are there so many women having babies safely at home with a midwife?
Think about what you believe to be true about birth and what do you base that belief on. Is it really true? Is there another option or possibility? Can you poke any holes in it and create a new belief?
The decisions we make are based on what we believe to be true. For childbirth it demands reaching deep within yourself to find how your beliefs will help or hinder your experience.
Watch the video below. Tony Robbins talks about- potential, action, results, and beliefs. Now you might think this has nothing to do with childbirth, but it actually does because how you do anything in life is how you do everything – even birthing your baby.
If you have doubts about your ability to birth your baby, it goes back to your belief that you think you can’t do it.
Actions would be those things that you do to have a healthy pregnancy, eating well, mild exercising, resting, learning how to create calm in your life to reduce stress, taking a childbirth class, learning everything you can about how you body works and what you can do to work with it.
Results, positive or not would depend on the actions you take. If you’re unaware of your birthing options and rights you don’t have any.
Beliefs would be what you tell yourself, “you see, I knew it wouldn’t work out”, “those breathing techniques didn’t work for me” and so on.
Birth is an internal process and you are the master of it, no one else.
So, if you can look at birth differently as birth being something you can do, manage, even control, and is a part of you, not something that happens to you , you may be so amazed at the new beliefs you create that will boost your potential and you’ll be unstoppable.
What do you think? Tell me below …