The Gap Between Parent And Child
It’s interesting to see new parents today react as I teach my childbirth classes. They are eager to be parents, anxious about the childbirth experience, fixing up the nursery, and that’s as far as their thinking goes…
When I had my son, truthfully, I never thought about him growing up or me growing old either. And yet here he is at 16 telling me how to live my life! And here I am scratching my head, trying to understand….
I never thought about the challenges and when he would turn into a teenager. He would just be my baby who I loved playing with forever.
“Mom, you need to get a life!” He recently blurted out to me! Little does he realize I, a – actually have one or else I wouldn’t be able to care for him, nor would my husband be able to!
When I think about my first time, young parents soon to have their babies, I know the imaginary, fine line that secretly gets drawn in the sand between them and their own parents is now present and unseen. It’s just there. It’s neither good or bad. It’s just the reality of new parents really and finally “growing-up” because they are now parents of their own babies and children.
But here’s the insight I want to share with you. All of us respond from our own knowledge base which is dependant on what we have personally learned, or know about life as it relates to our own lives. Our parents do the same. So do our children.
From my son’s point of view, I don’t have a life, or what he would consider a “life”, and that would be skate boarding, earphones, and an iPhone texting all the time. In other words, I am pretty boring as a mom!
But what I want to tell you is, everything you teach your child is from your point of view – not theirs, and that’s when parents and children clash.
Always reflect back as to how you were when you were a kid, a teebager, and so on. Maybe your parents drove you crazy. Maybe you gave them a really hard time because you wanted to be independent. Maybe you had a strained relationship with them, or a good one.
When parents make rules or tell their kids to do something, behave a certain way, go to school for this or that, it usually comes from what the parent wants – not what’s necessiarly good for the child.
So there will always be a “time” gap, and a gap in communication.
Unles … unless you are able to view their world through their eyes. Not easy to do, but so much better communication, understanding, and a better relationship will come as a result
PS: Let me know what you think! Leave me a comment ..
PSS: Have you checked out the “Moms at Home” program” to earn extra income?