What is meant by " breaking the cycle" ? Of what? Of fear. It means, stop feeding the fear. It means replace the fear with something else. It means not being afraid if you can, of childbirth.
Women experience a lot of fear. Where does it come from? Part of it comes from centuries of childbirth stories passed from generation to generation, leaving out the good stories. Part of it is based in religious teachings: Learning about Adam and Eve, and Eve's punishment for eating the apple, which also has been passed down through generations, and cultures for thousands of years. Genesis: Chapter 3:16. Much of it comes from experiences of other women who have given birth..... A Lot of it comes from unrealistic, sensationalized labor scenes on TV. Much of it also comes from the unknown, and it is reinforced by sematics. The simple word - pain - congers up a lot of feelings. Pain is associated with illness. Childbirth is not an illness.
Even the word - labor - calls up images of pain. Any dictionary will define labor as: physical or mental exertion; to work hard; work; to move slowly with difficulty; to suffer under a false idea. The expectation of fear is reinforced by words used by you, families, books, TV, magazines, friends, nurses, and doctors. Language is a powerful tool. It has suggestive ability. If you hear it enough you will believe it! If you can change the words, it may be one way to decrease the fear. Therefore, the word "pain" will be replaced by "discomfort" here as much as possible.
Many women experience discomfort. However, there are many women who have described their labors as "not bad at all!". They have described their discomfort as an intense menstral cramp, but tolerable. What made their experience so different and more tolerable than another woman who is very uncomfortable? There have been many babies born in calm, where the laboring woman was not screaming (as is too often portrayed on T.V) We tend to believe, because we saw it on T.V. it must be true. right" Nope. T.V keeps the fear of childbirth very much alive. There have been many births where the woman is in control, amazed that she gave birth,and even more so when the birthing process is achieved without medication!
The difference is a conscious decision made by the woman that she can do this! She can birth her baby by using the "tools" to help her prepare for the birthing experience and the contractions. Emotional and physical support is vital. Just hearing the word's "I love you" from your man, or words of encouragement from your support person when in labor can boost your confidence in your ability to overcome your fears. Also, we all have different levels of pain tolerance! Not every woman experiences the same sensations, or feels them the same. So having a good idea how you respond to pain, may give you some insight as to how to prepare for any discomfort you experience.
The important thing to remember is to calm your fears, because when you are afraid, you release stress homones, and your body tenses which will make the birthing process more challenging, and your interpretation of discomfort sensations will increase! We don't want that! So, here are some thoughts as to how to break the cycle of fear-->tension-->pain.
(Please read pgs. 32 and 33 in your book) What book?
1.Replace fear with knowledge and preparation. Having an idea of what is going to happen during your labor helps decrease the fear of the unknown. You may not know how long your birthing experience will be(or how short), but you'll know where you'll be, and pretty much what to expect. The mechanics of birth are universal! But, when it will happen, how long and how, are unique only to you. Your doctor doesn't even know for sure. Understanding the birth process will also help because you will know and understand what is happening to you physically, and thus you'll be able to anticipate physical sensations.
2.Replace tension with relaxation. If you read the information in the Fight or Flight section you'll understand this part, if not take a peek. Being able to relax, to be calm, and allow your body to birth your baby is an essential part of the birthing experience. The female body is physically designed to carry and birth a baby. This means there is a whole physiological process incorporated in the design to be activated when the time is right. The process of birth involves an involuntary system, meaning that it will begin on it's OWN (another source of fear because you can't control when, or know when is going to happen). Stress constricts muscles, and because the uterus is a muscle, it will also constrict. When the uterus is constricted, it is fighting with the job it needs to do - contract, so that effacement and dilation of the cervix can occur. This is needed for the birth of the baby. If the baby is meeting resistance created by a "tight" and constricted cervix, the opening of the cervix, where baby must pass to be born, may be more difficult leading to more discomfort for the mother. Contractions are a good thing, and you can work WITH them. They are needed to birth your baby. They are not your enemy. If you work with your body, allowing it to do what it needs to do, welcoming, encompassing the contractions, not fighting them, using your relaxation techniques, breathing, etc., you will increase the possibility of having a more satisfying, less complicated birthing experience.
3.Support System. When you have great support from people you love, sometimes you feel like you could walk on hot coals! Only kidding. But really, when people believe in you, you believe more in your own abilites. When you have positive support, you usually succeed.
4.Replace discomfort with distraction. Lamaze techniques are based on distraction and being in control of the birthing experience by focusing on anything else, BUT the discomfort caused by uterine contractions. It works! It works! Why does it work? Distraction keeps the brain involved. The right side of the brain is the creative side (visualization, imagery, emotions) and the left side of the brain is very interested in analytical things (counting, numbers, calculations). When you use counting with a breathing technique, or imagery in a relaxation technique, you are engaging the brain, thus distracting it from the discomfort you are feeling. Once you start to focus ON your discomfort, you will feel even more uncomfortable because you are paying attention to it! You must practice your breathing techniques, and relaxation methods so that you will know them, and what will work best for you when you need them the most.
5.The ability to go with the flow. Many times the attitude of "going with whatever happens" is a tough concept for some people to accept. It means throwing out the clock and letting nature perform her best on her own time. Birth is a mystery of life. It will unfold in its own time. Trying to control it, rush it, and predict it will only cause frustration and anxiety for you and your partner..
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