Discussions so far have been focused on emotional and physiological influences that may affect your pregnancy. As mentioned already, your emotional state impacts greatly on the birthing experience. The more you understand how, the better you will be able to respond to physical sensations, as well as the emotional stresses of giving birth. If you are surrounded by supportive people, and in a supportive environment, you will respond even better.
This is worth repeating: If you can resolve any concerns you have prior to going into labor , please do so, so that you may focus on the birthing experience itself. For example, as I write this, there is an expectant woman worrying if her husband will get home in time to take her to the hospital if she calls him at work to tell him "it's time". Apparently, she has no friends or family near by. What stress, and one she does not need with the stresses of labor! She needs to have a plan B in place, one that she is comfortable with. Maybe she could ask a neighbor to take her, or even call 911! It has been done before, and if the rescue squad got her to the hospital safely and in time, in this particular situation, why not? The point is, getting as much settled as you can will decrease your anxiety, whatever it may be, and that's just what we want to do!
When you have a good support system, you relax more because there are those you can call for help when you need it, those who will give you hugs, encouragement, and love when you need it most during the birth of your child. There is nothing like support, for yourself, from your partner, and from others.
S e l f ..............
Support for yourself means treating yourself well. Doing activities that make you feel good. Surrounding yourself with positive people. Listening and reading about positive birth stories! Here are some suggestions. Some may be familiar to you already. But, that's all right. Reinforcement is very good!
* Start thinking about what you like to do to relax! Is it playing classical music, curled up in a chair? Taking a hot shower? What? Find out what it is and make time for it daily.
* Daydream daily about something special that makes you FEEL good! A special place you like to go to. Think it, go there, and stay for a while. This exercise will come in handy later!
* Express your feelings! Positive and negative! Negative thoughts eat up a lot of energy!
* Communicate your desires to your partner and others! Unless they own a crystal ball, your partner or anyone else, won't know what you want.
* Be realistic. Try not to have high expectations that go beyond what is realistic. For example, expectations of having the perfect birthing experience. Thinking "perfect" right there will get you! Nothing in life is perfect! Relax, go with and live each moment as it unfolds, you'll enjoy it more, than trying to control it.
* Relish your pregnancy, it's an amazing experience.
P a r t n e r ...........
Your partner will be your rock, in most cases. There are times when your partner may not be, for whatever reasons. Perhaps he is uncomfortable seeing you uncomfortable, or he is unsure of his ability to help you, or he hates hospitals. Whatever the reason, it is important to understand, and allow him to respond the best way he can, the best way he knows how, and is comfortable with. For example, maybe he doesn't want to be in the room when the doctor is checking your labor progress, and steps outside the room for a few minutes, and then returns.
This doesn't mean he doesn't care about what's going on. It just means he has his own coping mechanisms activated and needs to respond to them to help himself. This is good, because when he takes care of himself, he can take care of you. More and more pressure is being put on the partner to be the "coach". This is great! But, maybe he's uncomfortable with the responsibility. That's where communication comes in, big time! If you don't talk, you may have expectations( there's that word again) of your partner being with you 200%, and that may not be realistic.
Your partner is viewing your pregnancy from a different perspective. He is also responding to personal concerns of his own. Let him do the best he can for you. Here are some suggestions: So guys, if you are reading this............
* Be a guardian! you will anyway. You have expectant mom's best interests at heart. Watch over her, guard her privacy at the hospital. For example, some hospitals are teaching ones and they have student nurses and Interns. If you don't want to be a learning subject then say so, and inform, or both of you inform the medical staff!
* Accept who you are. You are about to go through an incredible experience, seeing your partner birth your child! WOW. If you don't like the sight of blood and body fluids that's ok. Just share that with mom-to-be so she understands why you disappeared, or fainted!
* Encourage her, love her, like you have and do, and then increase that 500% more! Your words of love and encouragement, will help her in her weakest moments. You will help give her the strength she needs if she feels like giving up during labor. What a feeling that will be, to know that it was YOU that kept her going!
O t h e r s .............
In the hospital, nurses do their very best to help you in labor; making you comfortable, being with you when it is time to push, and after the delivery. A nurse at some point, will be with you when you are ready to give birth, you will not be alone. The nurse is also a technician because she is monitoring your labor progress as well as the events and effects of medications, epidurals, fetal well-being, and so on, when with you.
Women in labor need to be emotionally nurtured. The hospital environment is not always a nurturing environment. So, what can you do? Especially since you have chosen the hospital as the place to birth your baby.
* Shop around for that OB/GYN provider, or practice that suits your needs, physically and emotionally! Yes, you are a consumer, and hospitals, and doctors, are a business. Did you like the way you were treated? Is he or she easy to talk to? Do they have midwives on their staff? Do they support the use of Doulas? Do they routinely induce labor? What is their cesarean rate? Will they work with nature, or will they be in a rush to play that game of tennis? Many times we just go on the recommendation of someone else about a doctor. It's really okay to interview a few doctors to find the one that meets your needs.
* Use a Midwife if you can. They will take the time to nurture you, work with nature, and not rush you. If you are healthy, and considered a "low risk" pregnancy, meaning there is no history of illness and baby is fine also, a midwife is an excellent choice for a provider. They work "under" or are affiliated with a physician so in case there is an emergency, they would step in and take over.
* Think about a birthing center as an alternative to a hospital to give birth. The atmosphere will be very different! Yes! It is a safe alternative.
* Consider a Doula. The research is out! It has been proven that the amount of emotional and physical support a woman in labor gets is related to the birth outcome. The use of Doulas reduce the chance of cesarean sections. Why? Because they do everything they can to help you relax physically and emotionally. They provide non-stop support. They also relieve some of the pressure from the partner, so he may work with the Doula to meet your needs. Doulas stay with you 100% of the time. A Doula is not a nurse, or doctor, but a nurturer, what a gift!
* Remember your family members and friends. If there are concerns: who will take care of the pets, how will I get to the hospital, what will my husband eat for dinner when I am in the hospital....and so on, call them! Maybe they can make some meals for you and so on.....Want to read a good book on Doulas-
Remember, a good support system is a vital element to your birthing experience.
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